But She Didn't

Los Angeles

Little man and the girl were out walking. The police slid round the corner easy and slow. That street kid got caught off guard. Copper blinded him so bright that kid couldn't see nothin for days. Just shrugged his shoulders up real tight and looked at the ground. Hoped it all'd go away.

The girl just stared. No business with a girl like that in a neighborhood like this. Sides there were more kids on the next block and them coppers had an itch to look in the eyes of each one that night.

The girl went home. Shoulda said something, she thought. But she didn't.

I got pissed on today

I was all set to write a lovely dovey, oh so happy post. Little man and I had just gotten abck from a glorious walk. It wa finalyl warm and breezy outside and there was honeysuckle in the air. Just brilliant.

Then I got back inside and had to call the customer service department of So Cal Gas Company. They like to take my money, but they don't like to credit me for it. Bastards. And then LITTLE MAN PEED ON MY FOOT. Lifted his leg and pissed right in my sneaker. Double bastard.

My Best Dixie Carter Impression

So I went to go buy a new ball gown because my old one no longer fits. See the lemon curd post. I found a LOVELY one in BCBG, half-off. Sha-zaam. Then I saw another one that was the most gorgeous color of blue green. I tried it on.

The salesman said to me "I was afraid of that. See how it accentuates your hips."

Excuse. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

"See, it accentuates your hips." He says it again. 20 year old piece of ....

Because the thing is, I have hips. Boy, do I ever. But I in no way feel the need to HIDE them. I have hips. Hello, I'm a WOMAN. We have hips.

I told the 20 year old as much, doing my best Dixie Carter I told him that women have hips and they should never be told to hide them and he should be ashamed of himself for saying so to me or anyone else.

He said, "I just want you to look your best."

My best I say, includes hips.

I hate him. I don't think he cares.

The Stupid Thing I Did Today

Well actually, the stupid thing I did yesterday, but I discovered it today so it goes on today's post.

I was trying to make proper Italian soup you see. White bean and Rosemary. The problem was that the corner store did not have canned white beans. This forced me to be a real human being and soak them myself overnight. I didn't have any idea how long one should soak beans, so I looked it up on the internet. No harm, no foul.

In the process, however, I also found this little tidbit: The water that you soaked your beans in will be full of nutrients. Put it on your plants, they'll love it. Great, fantabulous, wonderful I think and straight away pour all the leftover juice on all my house plants.

Here's what they don't tell you. A day later, the water has gone off and your entire house will SMELL LIKE GARBAGE. And I can't quite think of any way to make it go away save throwing the plants out which I refuse to do. So I suppose we'll just have to suffer through stinkland until the smell wears itself out. Bleah.

Lemon Curd

I helped myself to a second piece of lemon curd tart. I know, I know, a SECOND piece. But its lemon curd you see, made with fresh lemons and sooooooooo good.

So there I am, eating my second piece, when it occurs to me that in less than a month I have to attend a formal ball. For work. Which makes the getting dressed a bit tricky: no excess cleavage, high leg slits or deep v necked backs allowed. So one must be glamorous and entirely covered up simultaneously. Rough.

BUT, I rememer, sitting in my closet is the one single bridesmaids dress in the world that could actually be worn again. Thick silver satin, floor length column, a cowl neck, no more no less. Perfect. I should try it on I think, in case I need to take it to the tailor.

I got the zipper about, oh, half way up my back before my back fat held its ground and rendered zipping impossible. Christ. I had somehow forgotten, in my lemon curd fed haze, that a much thinner version of me had already altered that dress. And only if I had stopped eating before I even conceived of that lemon tart could I have dreamt of fitting into it.

Damn it.

Today I will run, tomorrow I will shop.

If, by chance, you want to also be sucked into eating way too much of a good thing, here's the recipe:

http://www.joyofbaking.com/LemonCurdTart.html

The Most Interesting Thing I Learned Today

Our Administration likes to refer to torture as "Enhanced Interrogation." Nice. But they didn't coin this little phrase. No they didn't. It was coined in 1937. By the GESTAPO.

Allow me to translate

I'm going out for a walk, I'm going out for a walk, I'm going out for a walk, I'm going out for a walk. With perhaps a little, I'll eat your face off when you die thrown in for good measure.

I Didn't Vote

That's right, I said it. I didn't vote. Which is odd, because I'm one of the more politcal people that I know, and I still didn't vote. I'm now trying to figure out why.

I had plenty of excuses. I was busy at work. There was a Board meeting the next day. mmmhm. yeah. whatever. yawn. The truth is I didn't vote because I didn't know who to vote for. Obama is energizing, promising change, rallying young Democrats. But Hillary is smart as a whip, proven, strong. And while she shouldn't be judged on her husbands characteristics, the woman does happen to be married to one of the best political minds of this or any generation.

I didn't vote because I couldn't say no to either. I've said yes to both essentially. This is not to say that not voting was good thing. I do strongly believe it is an honor; nothing less than a duty for those of us who were born with all the priviledges that an American passport brings. We owe it to ourselves to vote.

But I didn't. Because in the end, I just couldn't decide. Nothing between Obama and Hillary, except for their outer wrapping, differentiated them enough to get me to the ballot box. That's an interesting quandry indeed.

MMMMMM.......pie

Make this pie. Its de-liiiiiii-cious!

http://www.ehow.com/how_2173935_blueberry-crumble-pie.html