He emailed me...and I so don't care

Ick. Ack. Argh. Its been an entire week and I've nothing to say. Partly I supose because I've been working like a mad woman. Fundraising during a recession (thats right, I said the "r" word, is hard work indeed.) And partly because A. has been home at nights all week so my attention has been eslewhere. But mostly its because nothing all that exciting has gone on this week. Considering what the rest of this month has been like, I should count my blessings.

I did get an email from an old boyfriend. The first boyfriend, first love, first man who broke my heart. When he dumped me I thought I'd not actually be able to go on. I cried for hours on end, didn't sleep, wandered around my college apartment at night, hoping I'd hear him knocking on my door. But he never did and we went out separate ways. Now he sells artisanal cheese in Brooklyn. huh. I write too many posts about cheese.

A good tomato sandwich

The priest at my grandmother's funeral kept going on and on about tomato sandwiches. For two weeks now, I've been thinking it must be a metaphor that I haven't figured out. The key, she said, as my grandmother knew, was to put the salt and pepper on the mayo, not on the tomato. If you put season the tomato, it all just slides right off. Now I think there was no metaphor. She meant exactly what she said: "A good tomato sandwich is a blessing indeed."

Will acupuncture cure my split-ends?

"Lady you have problem." That's what the unbelievably old Chinese man said to be as he was about to stick current conducting acupuncture needles into my back. "You got big problem."


And yeah, I did. The 16 hour combined sit-fest of last weeks funeral services back in SC (5 flight, 10 hours in the car, 1 in the airport, yeesh) did something very very wrong to my back. I kept thinking it would get better. It thought otherwise and got worse. So much so that by the end of most of the work days last week, I practically had to limp home.


After much berating from A. I finally agreed to go get a massage at the cheapie place up the street. A benefit you see, to living so close to Korea-town. But there weren't any massages on Saturdays the surly receptionist told me. Monday-Friday. "Is there anything else that might help me?" I oh-so-naively ask.


As a matter of fact there was. Acupuncture, electricized. "But it's going to hurt," the receptionist tells me. I think she's smirking at me so I boldy say "No Problem!" A. swears to me that she wasn't smirking, but he was clearly mistaken. The woman had it in for me. Anyway...


So there I am, stomach down on an old mat, curtained off from a bustling Saturday market with this old man sticking electrical needles into my back. "How did this happen?" I think to myself. He inserts them all and they zip and zap at me and create the oddest senation of relaxation and pain. I lay there , on my stomach, pants partly pulled down, thinking things like "Am I wearing a thong? I hope I'm not wearing a thong" and "I wonder if the bottom of my socks are clean?"


Fifteen minutes pass and he takes them out and here's the thing. It worked. Like a freakin' miracle it worked. My back is back thank you very much. So much so I've spent the last 2 days trying to come up with other reasons to go visit the acupuncturist. Cramps? Arthritis? Acne? Split-ends? Do you think he can do anything about my split ends?

Just do it already

Why is it that when you come up with a fabulus new idea, you then DON'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT? What's up with procastination anyway? I suspect it has something to do with fear. Most things do, but it seems so silly and irrational to stand in your own way. I suppose instead of writing this I could just go on and do what it is that I'm not wanting to do. But maybe I'll just do the dishes instead. Or hey, a cup of tea would be nice...

Be Happy Today

BE HAPPY TODAY!

Little Man, In All His Glory

It's been getting awfully gloomy round here in blogland. Well, in my blog land anyway. So I'm putting up a picture of the cutest damn dog in the world and deciding to be a bit cheerier.

Steps

And the world keeps going round. As I watch another friend struggle with the suddeness of disease and how unfair it is to watch one's child suffer, I wonder at all that we can ever just be here now. That we can really let such horror in. But she does, because she is my strongest friend. And perhaps my truest. So now I will sit in awe of the power of people to overcome even the most debilitating of circumstances and celebrate each wee step towards recovery.

Photo credit: Tods

I'm not calling it a cycle

Today I was gonna write about the difference between a caucus and a primary. Why Iowa has one, New Hampshire has another and why these two states carry so much weight. But then my grandmother died. And I was gonna talk about that. But then my dear old friend who was told she could never have children called me and...yep, she's pregnant. Naturally pregnant at that.

So what I think I'm gonna talk about is that moment when we get shocked out of our stability. We roll along, happily, merrily, or hopefully so. Perhaps bored or stuck or feeling uninspired. But we roll along and then every once and again life kicks us in the ass and makes us FEEL something more, something different. It shakes us up.

I marvelled on the bus ride home, how different it felt in mid-day. There were different passengers, wearing different clothing. There were a lot more children at 11:30 as oppsed to 5:30. And the world looks different, not in a tangible, explainable way, except perhaps a bit too bright, but then again thats Los Angeles. As another good friend of mine says, "it's worse to be sad in Los Angeles than anywhere else. All the damn sun lights up the wretched parts and there's never a good thunderstorm to hide behind."

So there you have it. I'll roll along, call Delta for a bereavement package and just *feel* the wretchedness for a bit. And K. will have the baby she's always wanted to have. And Super Tuesday will decide the democratic nominations in February. And that is life. cyclic and all, but I'm not going there.

Bring it Obama

"I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda.
"I am not opposed to all wars. I'm opposed to dumb wars. So for those of us who seek a more just and secure world for our children, let us send a clear message to the president."

Bring it Obama. God I wish I lived in New Hampshire. (not really, but still)

Standing Knee Deep in Crap

I saw the movie Atonement last night and was surpised at how much I enjoyed it. It got me to thinking about intentions and what they really mean. How much of life is based on intent? If we're smart, I think a majority. Because let's face it, things often turn out to be crap no matter what we meant, and they often turn out to be crap not just for us, but for those around us too. I think its probably vital then, when we're standing knee deep in our crap,

or our loved ones' crap, to think about our/their intentions. More often than not, they were probably quite decent and well meaning. And we can go from there, which is a much nicer starting point than just standing in crap with no idea why and being pissy about it.

Photo: Walker Evans

Polka Dot Wellies

I've got me some new ones. The bright yellow ones died in Costa Rica. And now I get to wear them (sometimes a feat in bone-dry Los Angeles). Rain on I say!!

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7544959

Resolutions Schmesolutions

They're just not my thing. All I got is some stuff that needs to be finished up sometime before this time next year:

* Do the final polish on Dream with the Angels and finish writing the second script already. The jilted Uzbekistani elephant trainer has been rampaging through the Depression area settlement site for months and I've not done anything to resolve the matter
* Launch the Women's Money Monthly website (so we can all have our houses and shoes too!)
* Keep my money plant alive. I think its got root rot. Sigh.
* Hang the curtains in the living room and put down the rug in the bedroom.
* And oh yeah, unpack my suitcase from Christmas