I've been thinking all week of last Saturday night. Last Saturday I had dinner with a good friend of mine, one I hadn't seen in ages and that I always wish I see more of, but I don't. We had a lovely dinner the two of us, nothing special--Kate Mantolini's, at the bar no less. If anyone out there knows the secret to scoring one of those gorgeous window booths, please let me know. I've never sat in one but always wanted to.
Anyway, so I had dinner with a friend. No bells and whistles, no movies, no shopping. Just a simple dinner and lots of talking and that reminded me how much I miss seeing my friends, one on one, no activity involved, and how little I get the chance to truly connect with them. Which also got me to thinking about how often I miss the chance to really connect with anyone and how sad that is.
As a practicing Buddhist, that's supposed to be my gig--connecting. Empathy and kindness with yourself and by extension with the rest of the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm quite good at it and sometimes I see that I am full of hubris and ego and that not only should I not be judging good or bad, but that alarm bells should go off whenever I get that smug feeling of self satisfaction. That's an indicator that my ego has gotten in my way and that I'm not connecting at all.
So today I will feel gratitude for a dinner out with my friend and for a wake up call (how many there are out there when we are listening!) going into this holiday season. I will concentrate on connecting--with my friends and my fiance and my family who all live so far away. The time I spend with all of them will be paid attention to and will be cherished. Or at least, that will be my aim.
-TG
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"Sometimes I feel like I'm quite good at it and sometimes I see that I am full of hubris and ego and that not only should I not be judging good or bad, but that alarm bells should go off whenever I get that smug feeling of self satisfaction. That's an indicator that my ego has gotten in my way and that I'm not connecting at all."
this is very nice. and an important lesson.
not that you were being gender-specific (or remotely political) about connection, but right when you were composing that, I was also thinking about connections, and looking at this;
"The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet."
adrienne rich said it, and it made we wonder if-should we see a female head of this nation sometime soon-such connections might have a new light illuminate them. whether that will be good or bad???--will try not to judge.
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